Monday, November 16, 2009

Ken Ober

SANTA MONICA, CA -- Longtime MTV "Remote Control" host Ken Ober has passed away at the age of 52, the comedian's representative confirmed to MTV News. The cause of his death was not available at press time.

More like…

1) Ken Over
2) KEND Ober
3) Game show ghost (old chestnut)
4) Ken Obituary
5) TaKen From Us Much Too Soon Ober
6) I Want My MTV And My Life Back
7) Remote ContRoll over in my grave

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Joseph Wiseman

NEW YORK -- Joseph Wiseman, an actor who played the sinister scientist and title character of Dr. No in the first James Bond feature film, has died.

More like...

1) Dr. No Pulse
2) Joseph Rottingman
3) You Only Live Once
4) Diamonds Are Forever Unlike Dr. No
5) Tomorrow Never Dies, But Dr. No Does
6) Jodeath Wiseman
7) No breath Wiseman

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Lou Albano

WESTCHESTER, NY -- Captain Lou Albano, the pro wrestling villain who reinvented himself as a pop culture celebrity in a Cyndi Lauper video, died Wednesday in Westchester County, N.Y. He was 76.

More like…

1) Ghouls Just Want To Have Fun
2) Lou Al-gone-o

Monday, September 28, 2009

Lucy Vodden

LONDON -- Lucy Vodden, who provided the inspiration for the Beatles' classic song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," has died after a long battle with lupus. She was 46.

More like…

1) Lucy in the Ground with Diamonds
2) Lucy in the Sky with Dead People
3) Lucy In the Sky with Die-monds
4) Lupus Victim in the Sky with Diamonds

Friday, September 18, 2009

Mary Travers

Mary Travers, one-third of the 1960s folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary who helped popularize the work of Bob Dylan and sang hits such as "Puff (The Magic Dragon)," has died, aged 72, after battling leukemia.

More like...

1) Peter, Paul and buried
2) Bury Travers
3) Mary cadavers
4) Nary Travers
5) Puff nothing ever again
6) Mary Travels (to the great beyond)

Patrick Swayze

Actor Patrick Swayze, star of "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," has died after a battle with cancer, his publicist tells KTLA.

More like....

1) Patrick gone awayze
2) Patrick Decayze
3) Nobody puts Swayze in a coroner's hearse
4) Nobody puts Swayze in a corner plot
5) Ghost II

DJ AM (Adam Goldstein)

Adam Goldstein, also known as DJ AM has been found dead in New York City at the age of 36, Access Hollywood has confirmed.

More like...

1) DJ OD
2) DJ RIP
3) DJ Am No Longer Alive
4) Disc Junkie

Edward Kennedy

U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy, a towering figure in the Democratic Party who took the helm of one of America's most fabled political families after two older brothers were assassinated, died at age 77, his family said.

More like...

1) Dead Kennedy
2) Ted Kenne-die
3) Ted Ken-end-y
4) Endward Kennedy
5) The end of an err-uh.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Garrison Keillor

LOS ANGELES -- American author and humorist Garrison Keillor suffered a minor stroke and is undergoing medical tests in Minnesota, hospital officials said on Wednesday.

(Note from Nobes: “He's not dead yet but I'm claiming this one for future use.”)

More like…

1) Garrison Keel Over

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dominick Dunne

NEW YORK –- Author Dominick Dunne, who told stories of shocking crimes among the rich and famous through his magazine articles and best-selling novels such as "The Two Mrs. Grenvilles," died Wednesday in his home at age 83.

More like…

1) Dominick, um, Done

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Don Hewitt

BRIDGEHAMPTON, NY -- Don Hewitt, who changed the course of broadcast news by creating the television magazine “60 Minutes,” fusing journalism and show business as never before, died Wednesday at his home in Bridgehampton, N.Y.

More like…

1) 60 Feet Under

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Robert Novak

CHICAGO -- Conservative columnist and former CNN "Crossfire" host Robert Novak has died at age 78 of cancer, his family says.

More like…

1) Grave Robber-t Novak
2) Robert Nolife
3) Apparently ROBERT found NO VACcine for cancer
4) Robert No-I’m not too happy that conservative A-hole is dead-vak

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Les Paul

WHITE PLAINS, NY -- Les Paul, whose innovations with the electric guitar and studio technology made him one of the most important figures in recorded music, has died, according to a statement from his publicists. Paul was 94.

More like…

1) LifeLes Paul
2) Les Pall
3) Less Paul
4) Les Pallbearer
5) Guitar (On His Way To See) God

Thursday, August 6, 2009

John Hughes

NEW YORK –- A spokeswoman for John Hughes says the director of 1980s coming-of-age films like "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club" has died in Manhattan.

More like…

1) Sixteen Coffins
2) Planes, Trains & Hearses
3) The Breakfast (For Worms) Club
4) Gone Hughes (repeat)
5) Die-rector
6) John Hughes’ Day, I mean life off

And this one from devoted Deadlines fan, Joe P.:
7) Funeral Home Alone

Monday, July 20, 2009

Frank McCourt

Frank McCourt, the retired New York City schoolteacher who launched his late-in-life literary career by tapping memories of his grim, poverty-stricken childhood in Ireland to write the Pulitzer Prize-winning memoir "Angela's Ashes," died Sunday of cancer. He was 78.

More like...

1) Angela's Son's Ashes
2) Frank McCourting Death
3) Frank McCoffin
4) Frank McCancer
5) Frank McCorpse
6) Rank McCourt

Walter Cronkite

Walter Cronkite, who personified television journalism for more than a generation as anchor and managing editor of the "CBS Evening News," has died. CBS vice president Linda Mason says Cronkite died at 7:42 p.m. Friday with his family by his side at his home in New York after a long illness. He was 92.

More like....

1) Walter Croakite
2) Wilter Cronkite
3) Falter Cronkite
4) Stank-orman
5) "Reporting live from the grave..."
6) Pallter Cronkite
7) Ancorpseman
8) The most dusted man in America.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Billy Mays

(CNN) -- Infomercial pitchman Billy Mays died at his Tampa, Florida, home Sunday morning, authorities told CNN. The 50-year-old known for his shouting OxiClean ads was pronounced dead at 7:45 a.m.

More like...

1) Billy
Lays in a casket
2) Billy no more Days
3) Killy Mays
4) Billy Mays not here...
5) But wait, there's more...oh no never mind, there isn't

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson

LOS ANGELES -- Michael Jackson, the “King of Pop” who once moonwalked above the music world, died Thursday as he prepared for a comeback bid to vanquish nightmare years of sexual scandal and financial calamity. He was 50.

More like…

1) Wanna Be Endin’ Somethin’
2) The Jackson 4
3) P.D.T. (Pretty Dead Thing)
4) I’ll Be There, Oh Wait, No I Won’t
5) RIP it’s easy as 123
6) Mummy say mummy sa mamah koosa
7) Deadophile
8) King of Drop
9) Michael Not Coming Backson
10) Michael HeartAttackson
11) Michael Maggot-Snackson
12) He’s Out Of My Life
13) Don't Stop (Breathing) Til You Get Enough
14) Just look in the casket baby! (from “I Won’t Be There”)
15) Never can say goodbye or anything else ever again

Farrah Fawcett

LOS ANGELES -- Farrah Fawcett, the "Charlie's Angels" star whose feathered blond hair and dazzling smile made her one of the biggest sex symbols of the 1970s, died Thursday after battling cancer. She was 62.

More like…

1) Charlie’s Anal Cancer
2) Charlie’s Angel
3) Ryan A’Neal Cancer
4) Faraahhhhhhhhhh I’m Dying Fawcett
5) Farewell Fawcett
6) Ryan’s (No) Hope

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ed McMahon

LOS ANGELES -- Ed McMahon, who gained fame as Johnny Carson's sidekick on “The Tonight Show,” has died of bone cancer, his representative says.

More like…

1) Dead McMahon
2) Sidekick-the-bucket
3) Ed McMaggot
4) Heeeeeeeeere’s rigor mortis!
5) Eh McMahon
6) Heeeeeeeeerrreeeee’s Gone-y!
7) Johnny Carcinogen
8) The To-Die Show

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

David Carradine

BANGKOK -- Actor David Carradine, star of the 1970s TV series “Kung Fu” who also had a wide-ranging career in the movies, has been found dead in Bangkok. A news report said he was found hanged in his hotel room.

More like…

1) David Carradone
2) Kill David Vol. 1
3) David no-one-Cares-that-your-dead-adine
4) Grave-id Carradine
5) Hung Fu

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lucy Gordon

PARIS -- French police say British actress Lucy Gordon, who appeared in Spider-Man 3, was found dead in her Paris apartment after apparently committing suicide.

More like…

1) Lucy GorDone herself in
2) Noosey Gordon

Monday, May 4, 2009

Dom DeLuise

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Actor and comedian Dom DeLuise, whose big screen classics included The Cannonball Run, Spaceballs and History of the World Part I, died on Monday night at a Los Angeles hospital.

More like…

1) Done DeLuise
2) Corpseulent
3) Dom DeadLuise
4) He is survived by his refrigerator, a box of Ho-Hos and some bacon
5) He was 75...tons
6) Damn, He Was Fat! DeLuise
7) Dom DeLu-is dead.
8) 6-Foot Hoagie Under
9) Fat Funny Fuck Dead At 75

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Bea Arthur

LOS ANGELES -- Bea Arthur, who went from supporting roles on Broadway to stardom in two groundbreaking TV sitcoms died Saturday in Los Angeles, a family spokesman said.

More like…

1) Maudoleum
2) Golden Ghoul
3) Bea ArthUrn
4) And then there isn’t Maude
5) Golden Gates Girl

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Marilyn Chambers

Famed adult film star Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her home in the Canyon Country area, authorities said Monday, and an autopsy was pending to determine how the star of Behind the Green Door died.

More like…

1) PorNo-more
2) Maril-In-The-Ground
3) Mourn-ilyn Chambers
4) Morgue-ilyn Chambers
5) Behind The Green Door Is A Dead Woman
6) Behind The Green Coffin Lid
7) Behind The Gangrene Whore

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

John Updike

John Updike, famous for his graceful writing, prolific output and personal charm, died Tuesday at age 76 from lung cancer.

More like...

1) John your-time-is-Up-dike
2) John should've-given-smoking-Up-dike
3) Writer at rest
4) Go easy. He was my neighbor. (courtesy of fellow Masshole, BP)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Andrew Wyeth

(CNN) -- Andrew Wyeth, the American painter perhaps best known for his painting of a young woman in a field, “Christina’s World,” has died, according to an official with the Brandywine River Museum in Pennsylvania.

More like…

1) Andrew Die-eth
2) An-drew-his-last-breath Wyeth
3) An-drew his last picture Wyeth
4) Andrew Wy-death
5) Andrew Lie-In-The-Ground-eth
6) Andrew Why God Why?-eth

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ricardo Montalban

Ricardo Montalban, the Mexican-born actor who became a star in splashy MGM musicals and later as the wish-fulfilling Mr. Roarke in TV's "Fantasy Island," died Wednesday morning at his home, a city councilman said. He was 88.

More like....

1) Ricardo Montlgone
2) Ricardo Montembalmed
3) Ricardon't breathe anymore
4) The Wrath of Gone. "Gooooonnnnnne!!!!"
5) 'Welcome to Fantasy Die-land!"