Deadlines: better headlines for the famous and recently deceased

Elvis Presley

2010-08-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

Note from Spanish Johnny: “To honor the King on the 33rd anniversary of his untimely passing, please enjoy the following deadlines…”

More like...

1) Good Croakin Tonight
2) Can't Help Falling Off The Toilet And Dying
3) In The Ground-o
4) It's Now or Never -- Probably Never

John Wooden

2010-06-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- John Wooden, the UCLA basketball coach who became an icon of American sports while guiding the Bruins to an unprecedented 10 national championships in the 1960s and '70s and remained in the spotlight during retirement with his "Pyramid of Success" motivational program, has died. He was 99.

More like…

1) John Wooden Casket
2) The Wizard of Wormwood
3) Casketball Coach

Rue McClanahan

2010-06-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK -- Actress Rue McClanahan, who played the Golden Girl that got around, died June 3 of a massive stroke. She was 76 -- a fact her alter-ego on 'The Golden Girls,' the bawdy Blanche Deveraux, would never dream of divulging.

More like…

1) Old Dead Whore
2) Rue McClana-ho
3) Rue McGotAround
4) Blanche Deceased
5) MoRgUE McClanahan
6) Rue got chosen by the McClanahand-of-fate
7) Rue Morgue

Here's one from the archives (Bea Arthur, I believe):
8) Golden Ghouls

Dennis Hopper

2010-05-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Dennis Hopper, the high-flying Hollywood wild man whose memorable and erratic career included an early turn in "Rebel Without a Cause," an improbable smash with "Easy Rider" and a classic character role in "Blue Velvet," has died.

More like…

1) Blue Velvet-lined Coffin
2) Rebel Without A Pulse
3) Easy Dier

Gary Coleman

2010-05-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

PROVO, UT -- Gary Coleman, the adorable, pint-sized child star of the smash 1970s TV sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes" who spent the rest of his life struggling on Hollywood's D-list, died Friday after suffering a brain hemorrhage. He was 42.

1) Gary Coldman
2) Gary Corpseman
3) Gary Coffin
4) Gary Deadman
5) Indifferent Stroke
6) Whatchu talkin bout, will reader?

Ronnie James Dio

2010-05-16T14:06:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Ronnie James Dio, whose soaring vocals, poetic lyrics and mythic tales of a never-ending struggle between good and evil broke new ground in heavy metal, died Sunday. He was 67.

More like…

1) Ronnie James Die-o
2) Gonnie James Dio
3) Now perfoming “Heaven & Hell” in Heaven and Hell
4) Ronnie James DOA
5) Done Ronnie Done

Note from Nobes: “Go figure. This is where I draw the line. I can't make fun of his death.”

Lynn Redgrave

2010-05-03T14:07:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK -- Lynn Redgrave, an introspective and independent player in her family's acting dynasty who became a 1960s sensation as the freethinking title character of "Georgy Girl" and later dramatized her troubled past in such one-woman stage performances as "Shakespeare for My Father" and "Nightingale," has died. She was 67.

More like…

1) Lynn RedGRAVE! Oh wait. Shit. Her name is already a deadline.
2) Lyin’ in da Grave
3) Lynn "Say Hi To Peter" Graves
4) Lynn Freshgrave
5) Lynn Newgrave

Dixie Carter

2010-04-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- "Designing Women" star Dixie Carter, whose Southern charm and natural beauty won her a host of television roles, has died at age 70.

More like…

1) Decaying Women
2) (Rapidly) Declining Women
3) D(ix)IE Carter
4) Dixie Car-interred

Meinhardt Raabe

2010-04-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Meinhardt Raabe who played the Munchkin coroner in "The Wizard of Oz" and proclaimed in the movie that the Wicked Witch of the East was "really most sincerely dead," has died. He was 94.

More like…

1) Wizard of Ooze
2) We're off to see the wizard. Did I say, "wizard"? I meant coroner.
3) Meinheart Stopped
4) Meinhardt Raabe is not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.

Peter Graves

2010-03-14T14:09:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Actor Peter Graves died Sunday at the age of 83. He will always be known for his starring role in Mission Impossible. But he will also be known as a guy who spoofed his image in Airplane.

More like…

1) Fuck. He trumped us with his own name. Ultimate deadline!!!

Corey Haim

2010-03-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

LOS ANGELES -- Actor Corey Haim, best known for 80s films including License to Drive and the Lost Boys, has died at the age of 38. According to police, Haim, who had past substance-abuse problems, died at 3:30 a.m. Wednesday of an accidental overdose.

More like…

1) Corpsey Haim
2) The Lost his life Boy
3) License To Die
4) Corey "Why Couldn't It Have Been The Other One?" Haim

Mark Linkous

2010-03-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Mark Linkous has committed suicide. Best known for his acclaimed work with Sparklehorse, Linkous also produced Daniel Johnston’s 2003 album Fear Yourself and collaborated with Danger Mouse on Dark Night of the Soul.

More like…

1) ...Sparklehearse

Phil Harris

2010-02-10T14:11:00.000-08:00

ALASKA -- Phil Harris, captain of the Cornelia Marie fishing boat featured on Deadliest Catch, has died in Alaska. He was 53.

More like…

1) Deadliest Catch!
2) Phil...a coffin
3) Phil HarrIS dead
4) Phil Harris sleeps with the fishes

J.D. Salinger

2010-01-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

NEW HAMPSHIRE -- Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger has died at age 91 in New Hampshire. The author's son, in a statement from the author's literary representative, says Salinger died of natural causes at his home.

More like…

1) Stretcher In The Rye
2) Holden Buried-in-a-field
3) Coffin In The Rye
4) J.D. Salin-the-ground

Teddy Pendergrass

2010-01-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

PHILADELPIHA -- R&B singer Teddy Pendergrass has died at age 59, CNN has confirmed.

More like…

1) Teddy undergrass
2) Deady Pendergrass

Ken Ober

2009-11-16T14:13:00.000-08:00

SANTA MONICA, CA -- Longtime MTV "Remote Control" host Ken Ober has passed away at the age of 52, the comedian's representative confirmed to MTV News. The cause of his death was not available at press time.

More like…

1) Ken Over
2) KEND Ober
3) Game show ghost (old chestnut)
4) Ken Obituary
5) TaKen From Us Much Too Soon Ober
6) I Want My MTV And My Life Back
7) Remote ContRoll over in my grave

Joseph Wiseman

2009-10-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK -- Joseph Wiseman, an actor who played the sinister scientist and title character of Dr. No in the first James Bond feature film, has died.

More like...

1) Dr. No Pulse
2) Joseph Rottingman
3) You Only Live Once
4) Diamonds Are Forever Unlike Dr. No
5) Tomorrow Never Dies, But Dr. No Does
6) Jodeath Wiseman
7) No breath Wiseman

Lou Albano

2009-10-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

WESTCHESTER, NY -- Captain Lou Albano, the pro wrestling villain who reinvented himself as a pop culture celebrity in a Cyndi Lauper video, died Wednesday in Westchester County, N.Y. He was 76.

More like…

1) Ghouls Just Want To Have Fun
2) Lou Al-gone-o

Lucy Vodden

2009-09-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

LONDON -- Lucy Vodden, who provided the inspiration for the Beatles' classic song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," has died after a long battle with lupus. She was 46.

More like…

1) Lucy in the Ground with Diamonds
2) Lucy in the Sky with Dead People
3) Lucy In the Sky with Die-monds
4) Lupus Victim in the Sky with Diamonds

Mary Travers

2009-09-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

Mary Travers, one-third of the 1960s folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary who helped popularize the work of Bob Dylan and sang hits such as "Puff (The Magic Dragon)," has died, aged 72, after battling leukemia.

More like...

1) Peter, Paul and buried
2) Bury Travers
3) Mary cadavers
4) Nary Travers
5) Puff nothing ever again
6) Mary Travels (to the great beyond)

Patrick Swayze

2009-09-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

Actor Patrick Swayze, star of "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," has died after a battle with cancer, his publicist tells KTLA.

More like....

1) Patrick gone awayze
2) Patrick Decayze
3) Nobody puts Swayze in a coroner's hearse
4) Nobody puts Swayze in a corner plot
5) Ghost II

DJ AM (Adam Goldstein)

2009-09-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

Adam Goldstein, also known as DJ AM has been found dead in New York City at the age of 36, Access Hollywood has confirmed.

More like...

1) DJ OD
2) DJ RIP
3) DJ Am No Longer Alive
4) Disc Junkie

Edward Kennedy

2009-09-18T09:06:00.000-07:00

U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy, a towering figure in the Democratic Party who took the helm of one of America's most fabled political families after two older brothers were assassinated, died at age 77, his family said.

More like...

1) Dead Kennedy
2) Ted Kenne-die
3) Ted Ken-end-y
4) Endward Kennedy
5) The end of an err-uh.

Garrison Keillor

2009-09-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- American author and humorist Garrison Keillor suffered a minor stroke and is undergoing medical tests in Minnesota, hospital officials said on Wednesday.

(Note from Nobes: “He's not dead yet but I'm claiming this one for future use.”)

More like…

1) Garrison Keel Over

Dominick Dunne

2009-08-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK –- Author Dominick Dunne, who told stories of shocking crimes among the rich and famous through his magazine articles and best-selling novels such as "The Two Mrs. Grenvilles," died Wednesday in his home at age 83.

More like…

1) Dominick, um, Done

Don Hewitt

2009-08-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

BRIDGEHAMPTON, NY -- Don Hewitt, who changed the course of broadcast news by creating the television magazine “60 Minutes,” fusing journalism and show business as never before, died Wednesday at his home in Bridgehampton, N.Y.

More like…

1) 60 Feet Under

Robert Novak

2009-08-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

CHICAGO -- Conservative columnist and former CNN "Crossfire" host Robert Novak has died at age 78 of cancer, his family says.

More like…

1) Grave Robber-t Novak
2) Robert Nolife
3) Apparently ROBERT found NO VACcine for cancer
4) Robert No-I’m not too happy that conservative A-hole is dead-vak

Les Paul

2009-08-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

WHITE PLAINS, NY -- Les Paul, whose innovations with the electric guitar and studio technology made him one of the most important figures in recorded music, has died, according to a statement from his publicists. Paul was 94.

More like…

1) LifeLes Paul
2) Les Pall
3) Less Paul
4) Les Pallbearer
5) Guitar (On His Way To See) God

John Hughes

2009-08-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK –- A spokeswoman for John Hughes says the director of 1980s coming-of-age films like "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club" has died in Manhattan.

More like…

1) Sixteen Coffins
2) Planes, Trains & Hearses
3) The Breakfast (For Worms) Club
4) Gone Hughes (repeat)
5) Die-rector
6) John Hughes’ Day, I mean life off

And this one from devoted Deadlines fan, Joe P.:
7) Funeral Home Alone

Frank McCourt

2009-07-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

Frank McCourt, the retired New York City schoolteacher who launched his late-in-life literary career by tapping memories of his grim, poverty-stricken childhood in Ireland to write the Pulitzer Prize-winning memoir "Angela's Ashes," died Sunday of cancer. He was 78.

More like...

1) Angela's Son's Ashes
2) Frank McCourting Death
3) Frank McCoffin
4) Frank McCancer
5) Frank McCorpse
6) Rank McCourt

Walter Cronkite

2009-07-20T12:58:00.001-07:00

Walter Cronkite, who personified television journalism for more than a generation as anchor and managing editor of the "CBS Evening News," has died. CBS vice president Linda Mason says Cronkite died at 7:42 p.m. Friday with his family by his side at his home in New York after a long illness. He was 92.

More like....

1) Walter Croakite
2) Wilter Cronkite
3) Falter Cronkite
4) Stank-orman
5) "Reporting live from the grave..."
6) Pallter Cronkite
7) Ancorpseman
8) The most dusted man in America.

Billy Mays

2009-06-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

(CNN) -- Infomercial pitchman Billy Mays died at his Tampa, Florida, home Sunday morning, authorities told CNN. The 50-year-old known for his shouting OxiClean ads was pronounced dead at 7:45 a.m.

More like...

1) Billy Lays in a casket
2) Billy no more Days
3) Killy Mays
4) Billy Mays not here...
5) But wait, there's more...oh no never mind, there isn't

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T12:53:00.001-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Michael Jackson, the “King of Pop” who once moonwalked above the music world, died Thursday as he prepared for a comeback bid to vanquish nightmare years of sexual scandal and financial calamity. He was 50.

More like…

1) Wanna Be Endin’ Somethin’
2) The Jackson 4
3) P.D.T. (Pretty Dead Thing)
4) I’ll Be There, Oh Wait, No I Won’t
5) RIP it’s easy as 123
6) Mummy say mummy sa mamah koosa
7) Deadophile
8) King of Drop
9) Michael Not Coming Backson
10) Michael HeartAttackson
11) Michael Maggot-Snackson
12) He’s Out Of My Life
13) Don't Stop (Breathing) Til You Get Enough
14) Just look in the casket baby! (from “I Won’t Be There”)
15) Never can say goodbye or anything else ever again

Farrah Fawcett

2009-06-25T12:53:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Farrah Fawcett, the "Charlie's Angels" star whose feathered blond hair and dazzling smile made her one of the biggest sex symbols of the 1970s, died Thursday after battling cancer. She was 62.

More like…

1) Charlie’s Anal Cancer
2) Charlie’s Angel
3) Ryan A’Neal Cancer
4) Faraahhhhhhhhhh I’m Dying Fawcett
5) Farewell Fawcett
6) Ryan’s (No) Hope

Ed McMahon

2009-06-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Ed McMahon, who gained fame as Johnny Carson's sidekick on “The Tonight Show,” has died of bone cancer, his representative says.

More like…

1) Dead McMahon
2) Sidekick-the-bucket
3) Ed McMaggot
4) Heeeeeeeeere’s rigor mortis!
5) Eh McMahon
6) Heeeeeeeeerrreeeee’s Gone-y!
7) Johnny Carcinogen
8) The To-Die Show

David Carradine

2009-06-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

BANGKOK -- Actor David Carradine, star of the 1970s TV series “Kung Fu” who also had a wide-ranging career in the movies, has been found dead in Bangkok. A news report said he was found hanged in his hotel room.

More like…

1) David Carradone
2) Kill David Vol. 1
3) David no-one-Cares-that-your-dead-adine
4) Grave-id Carradine
5) Hung Fu

Lucy Gordon

2009-05-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

PARIS -- French police say British actress Lucy Gordon, who appeared in Spider-Man 3, was found dead in her Paris apartment after apparently committing suicide.

More like…

1) Lucy GorDone herself in
2) Noosey Gordon

Dom DeLuise

2009-05-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Actor and comedian Dom DeLuise, whose big screen classics included The Cannonball Run, Spaceballs and History of the World Part I, died on Monday night at a Los Angeles hospital.

More like…

1) Done DeLuise
2) Corpseulent
3) Dom DeadLuise
4) He is survived by his refrigerator, a box of Ho-Hos and some bacon
5) He was 75...tons
6) Damn, He Was Fat! DeLuise
7) Dom DeLu-is dead.
8) 6-Foot Hoagie Under
9) Fat Funny Fuck Dead At 75

Bea Arthur

2009-04-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Bea Arthur, who went from supporting roles on Broadway to stardom in two groundbreaking TV sitcoms died Saturday in Los Angeles, a family spokesman said.

More like…

1) Maudoleum
2) Golden Ghoul
3) Bea ArthUrn
4) And then there isn’t Maude
5) Golden Gates Girl

Marilyn Chambers

2009-04-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Famed adult film star Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her home in the Canyon Country area, authorities said Monday, and an autopsy was pending to determine how the star of Behind the Green Door died.

More like…

1) PorNo-more
2) Maril-In-The-Ground
3) Mourn-ilyn Chambers
4) Morgue-ilyn Chambers
5) Behind The Green Door Is A Dead Woman
6) Behind The Green Coffin Lid
7) Behind The Gangrene Whore

John Updike

2009-01-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

John Updike, famous for his graceful writing, prolific output and personal charm, died Tuesday at age 76 from lung cancer.

More like...

1) John your-time-is-Up-dike
2) John should've-given-smoking-Up-dike

3) Writer at rest

4) Go easy. He was my neighbor. (courtesy of fellow Masshole, BP)

Andrew Wyeth

2009-01-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

(CNN) -- Andrew Wyeth, the American painter perhaps best known for his painting of a young woman in a field, “Christina’s World,” has died, according to an official with the Brandywine River Museum in Pennsylvania.

More like…

1) Andrew Die-eth
2) An-drew-his-last-breath Wyeth
3) An-drew his last picture Wyeth
4) Andrew Wy-death
5) Andrew Lie-In-The-Ground-eth
6) Andrew Why God Why?-eth

Ricardo Montalban

2009-01-15T05:45:00.000-08:00

Ricardo Montalban, the Mexican-born actor who became a star in splashy MGM musicals and later as the wish-fulfilling Mr. Roarke in TV's "Fantasy Island," died Wednesday morning at his home, a city councilman said. He was 88.

More like....

1) Ricardo Montlgone

2) Ricardo Montembalmed

3) Ricardon't breathe anymore

4) The Wrath of Gone. "Gooooonnnnnne!!!!"

5) 'Welcome to Fantasy Die-land!"

Gerard Damiano

2008-10-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

MIAMI -- Gerard Damiano, director of the pioneering pornographic film that lent its name to the Watergate whistleblower known as "Deep Throat," has died. He was 80.

More like...

1) Deep six

Kim Jong Il (Sadly, Still Alive)

2008-09-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

SEOUL (AP) -- North Korean leader Kim Jong Il may be gravely ill as he has been absent from public view for weeks, a South Korean newspaper reported Saturday, saying foreign doctors recently arrived in the communist country.

More like…

1) Kim Jong, um, ill

Don LaFontaine

2008-09-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Don LaFontaine, the voiceover king whose “In a world...” phrase on movie trailers was much copied -- and much parodied -- has died, according to media reports. He was 68.

More like…

1) In a world without...me
2) Coming Soon to a graveyard near you
3) Decaying Soon
4) Rotting Soon
5) The Voiceover Guy? More like the Life-Over Guy...

Isaac Hayes

2008-08-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

Isaac Hayes, the baldheaded, baritone-voiced soul crooner who laid the groundwork for disco and whose "Theme From Shaft" won both Academy and Grammy awards, died Sunday afternoon after he collapsed near a treadmill, authorities said. He was 65.

More like...

1) Die-sac Hayes
2) Isaac lays very still
3) Isaac graves

Bernie Mac

2008-08-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

Bernie Mac, the actor and comedian who teamed up in the casino heist caper "Ocean's Eleven" and gained a prestigious Peabody Award for his sitcom "The Bernie Mac Show," died Saturday at age 50.

More like...

1) ComeDIEian
2) Gurney Mac
3) Burny-in-hell Mac

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

2008-08-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

MOSCOW - Alexander Solzhenitsyn, the Nobel Prize-winning Russian author whose books chronicled the horrors of dictator Josef Stalin's slave labor camps, has died of heart failure. He was 89.

More like...

1) мертвый сочинитель!

2) Один день в смерти Ivan Denisovich!

3) Aрхипелаг "GULAG" для того чтобы встретить вашего создателя!

Estelle Getty

2008-07-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

Estelle Getty, the diminutive actress who spent 40 years struggling for success before landing a role of a lifetime in 1985 as the sarcastic octogenarian Sophia on TV's "The Golden Girls," has died. She was 84.

More like...

1) Estelle Deady
2) Estelle Gets advanced dementia and dies
3) Estelle Gets Rotty

4) The mold-en girl

5) S0-long-phia

6) E-still Getty

Eh, stelle

George Carlin

2008-06-23T06:43:00.001-07:00

LOS ANGELES - George Carlin, the frenzied performer whose routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" led to a key Supreme Court ruling on obscenity, has died.

More like...

1) George Coffin
2) George Cardiac-Arrest-lin

3) George Carlin-the-ground
4) Come-die

5) Three words you can never say: I am alive.

6) "When will Jesus bring in the pork chops?" Umm, I think you'll find out now.

7) George Carbon

Tim Russert

2008-06-18T05:09:00.000-07:00

Tim Russert, NBC News’ Washington bureau chief and the moderator of “Meet the Press,” died Friday after suffering a heart attack at the bureau. He was 58.

More like...

1) Tim rest-in-dirt

2) Dead-meat the press

3) "Today on Meet The Press we'll talk to Abraham Lincoln, George Washington and JFK."

4) Meet the maker

5) UnTIMely-death Russert

6) Dim Russert

7) Political Corpserespondent

Eh.

Bo Diddley

2008-06-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

Bo Diddley, a founding father of rock 'n' roll whose distinctive "shave and a haircut, two bits" rhythm and innovative guitar effects inspired legions of other musicians, died Monday after months of ill health. He was 79.

More like...

1) Bo Deadley

2) Bo knows death

3) Bone Diddley

Yves Saint Laurent

2008-06-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

PARIS -- Legendary designer Yves Saint Laurent, who reworked the rules of fashion by putting women into elegant pantsuits that came to define how modern women dressed, died Sunday evening, a longtime friend and associate said. He was 71.

More like...

1) Deadsigner

2) Yves meeting Saint Peter Laurent

Harvey Korman

2008-05-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Comic actor Harvey Korman has died at 81, according to the UCLA Medical Center.

More like...

(1) Harvey Corpseman

Sydney Pollack

2008-05-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) Sydney Pollack, diagnosed with cancer about nine months ago, died Monday afternoon, surrounded by family, at his home in Pacific Palisades in Los Angeles.

More like...

1) Kaputsie
2) The Way You Were
3) Sydney Pollacking A Pulse
4) Absence Of Life
5) How many Pollacks does it take to run a life support machine?
6) Out of Breathica (huh?)

Ted Kennedy (Not Technically Dead)

2008-05-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

BOSTON, Massachusetts -- U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor, doctors treating him at Massachusetts General Hospital said Tuesday.

More like...

(1) Chappaquickdeath
(2) Dead Kennedy
(3) Ted Kenne-die
(4) Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver (Ted's niece) visiting hospital: "It's not a tumor! Oh, wait, it is."

Albert Hofmann

2008-04-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

Albert Hofmann, who first synthesized Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), has passed away. He was 102 years-old.

More like...

1) LSD-E-A-D

2) Albert Offedman

3) Lysergic acide DIE-thylamide

4) Yeah he's cool. More cold than cool, actually (Mr. Show reference. Look it up, d-bags)

5) That giant green giraffe over there is dead, man.

Charlton Heston

2008-04-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

Charlton Heston, who won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing "Ben-Hur" and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and other figures in movie epics of the '50s and '60s, has died. He was 84.

More like...

1) Charlton Headstone

2) "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands." So, now?

David Groh

2008-02-16T09:01:00.001-08:00

David Groh, the handsome, hardworking character actor who was best known as the easygoing man Rhoda Morgenstern married and divorced during the run of Valerie Harper's hit 1970s sitcom "Rhoda," has died. He was 68.

More like...

1) Thank God there wasn't an "L" on the end of that name.

2) Who??

3) David Gross

Roy Scheider

2008-02-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

Actor Roy Scheider passed away yesterday at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences hospital in Little Rock. Roy was battling multiple myeloma for the past two years. He was 75.

More like...

1) "We're gonna need a bigger casket."

2) Bon Roy-age

3) Chief Bloaty

Heath Ledger

2008-01-22T14:34:00.000-08:00

Actor Heath Ledger found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.

More like...

1) Death Ledger

Bobby Fischer

2008-01-17T14:32:00.000-08:00

Bobby Fischer, the reclusive chess genius who became a Cold War hero by dethroning the Soviet world champion in 1972 and later renounced his American citizenship, has died. He was 64.

More like...

1) Buh-bye Fischer

2) Searching for Bobby Fischer's pulse

3) Checkmate life!

4) Zombie Fischer

5) Bobby sleeps-with-the-fishes-er

Joey Bishop

2007-10-17T23:54:00.000-07:00

Joey Bishop, the stone-faced comedian who found success in nightclubs, television and movies but became most famous as a member of Frank Sinatra's Rat Pack, has died at 89.

More like...

1) Bloaty Bishop

2) Newest member of the rat-food pack

3) Joey deadwop

4) Joey Time's up!

Bobby Hatfield

2003-11-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

Bobby Hatfield, who, along with Bill Medley, comprised the classic 1960s duo The Righteous Brothers, died Wednesday in a hotel room in Kalamazoo, Mich., where he was found half an hour before the duo was to perform a concert at Western Michigan University's Miller Auditorium.

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