Ted Kennedy (Not Technically Dead)

BOSTON, Massachusetts -- U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor, doctors treating him at Massachusetts General Hospital said Tuesday.

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(1) Chappaquickdeath
(2) Dead Kennedy
(3) Ted Kenne-die
(4) Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver (Ted's niece) visiting hospital: "It's not a tumor! Oh, wait, it is."

Albert Hofmann

Albert Hofmann, who first synthesized Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), has passed away. He was 102 years-old.

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1) LSD-E-A-D

2) Albert Offedman

3) Lysergic acide DIE-thylamide

4) Yeah he's cool. More cold than cool, actually (Mr. Show reference. Look it up, d-bags)

5) That giant green giraffe over there is dead, man.

Charlton Heston

Charlton Heston, who won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing "Ben-Hur" and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and other figures in movie epics of the '50s and '60s, has died. He was 84.

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1) Charlton Headstone

2) "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands." So, now?

David Groh

David Groh, the handsome, hardworking character actor who was best known as the easygoing man Rhoda Morgenstern married and divorced during the run of Valerie Harper's hit 1970s sitcom "Rhoda," has died. He was 68.

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1) Thank God there wasn't an "L" on the end of that name.

2) Who??

3) David Gross

Roy Scheider

Actor Roy Scheider passed away yesterday at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences hospital in Little Rock. Roy was battling multiple myeloma for the past two years. He was 75.

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1) "We're gonna need a bigger casket."

2) Bon Roy-age

3) Chief Bloaty

Heath Ledger

Actor Heath Ledger found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.

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1) Death Ledger

Bobby Fischer

Bobby Fischer, the reclusive chess genius who became a Cold War hero by dethroning the Soviet world champion in 1972 and later renounced his American citizenship, has died. He was 64.

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1) Buh-bye Fischer

2) Searching for Bobby Fischer's pulse

3) Checkmate life!

4) Zombie Fischer

5) Bobby sleeps-with-the-fishes-er