Elvis Presley

Note from Spanish Johnny: “To honor the King on the 33rd anniversary of his untimely passing, please enjoy the following deadlines…”

More like...

1) Good Croakin Tonight
2) Can't Help Falling Off The Toilet And Dying
3) In The Ground-o
4) It's Now or Never -- Probably Never

John Wooden

LOS ANGELES -- John Wooden, the UCLA basketball coach who became an icon of American sports while guiding the Bruins to an unprecedented 10 national championships in the 1960s and '70s and remained in the spotlight during retirement with his "Pyramid of Success" motivational program, has died. He was 99.

More like…

1) John Wooden Casket
2) The Wizard of Wormwood
3) Casketball Coach

Rue McClanahan

NEW YORK -- Actress Rue McClanahan, who played the Golden Girl that got around, died June 3 of a massive stroke. She was 76 -- a fact her alter-ego on 'The Golden Girls,' the bawdy Blanche Deveraux, would never dream of divulging.

More like…

1) Old Dead Whore
2) Rue McClana-ho
3) Rue McGotAround
4) Blanche Deceased
5) MoRgUE McClanahan
6) Rue got chosen by the McClanahand-of-fate
7) Rue Morgue

Here's one from the archives (Bea Arthur, I believe):
8) Golden Ghouls

Dennis Hopper

LOS ANGELES -- Dennis Hopper, the high-flying Hollywood wild man whose memorable and erratic career included an early turn in "Rebel Without a Cause," an improbable smash with "Easy Rider" and a classic character role in "Blue Velvet," has died.

More like…

1) Blue Velvet-lined Coffin
2) Rebel Without A Pulse
3) Easy Dier

Gary Coleman

PROVO, UT -- Gary Coleman, the adorable, pint-sized child star of the smash 1970s TV sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes" who spent the rest of his life struggling on Hollywood's D-list, died Friday after suffering a brain hemorrhage. He was 42.

1) Gary Coldman
2) Gary Corpseman
3) Gary Coffin
4) Gary Deadman
5) Indifferent Stroke
6) Whatchu talkin bout, will reader?

Ronnie James Dio

LOS ANGELES -- Ronnie James Dio, whose soaring vocals, poetic lyrics and mythic tales of a never-ending struggle between good and evil broke new ground in heavy metal, died Sunday. He was 67.

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1) Ronnie James Die-o
2) Gonnie James Dio
3) Now perfoming “Heaven & Hell” in Heaven and Hell
4) Ronnie James DOA
5) Done Ronnie Done

Note from Nobes: “Go figure. This is where I draw the line. I can't make fun of his death.”

Lynn Redgrave

NEW YORK -- Lynn Redgrave, an introspective and independent player in her family's acting dynasty who became a 1960s sensation as the freethinking title character of "Georgy Girl" and later dramatized her troubled past in such one-woman stage performances as "Shakespeare for My Father" and "Nightingale," has died. She was 67.

More like…

1) Lynn RedGRAVE! Oh wait. Shit. Her name is already a deadline.
2) Lyin’ in da Grave
3) Lynn "Say Hi To Peter" Graves
4) Lynn Freshgrave
5) Lynn Newgrave

Dixie Carter

LOS ANGELES -- "Designing Women" star Dixie Carter, whose Southern charm and natural beauty won her a host of television roles, has died at age 70.

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1) Decaying Women
2) (Rapidly) Declining Women
3) D(ix)IE Carter
4) Dixie Car-interred

Meinhardt Raabe

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Meinhardt Raabe who played the Munchkin coroner in "The Wizard of Oz" and proclaimed in the movie that the Wicked Witch of the East was "really most sincerely dead," has died. He was 94.

More like…

1) Wizard of Ooze
2) We're off to see the wizard. Did I say, "wizard"? I meant coroner.
3) Meinheart Stopped
4) Meinhardt Raabe is not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.

Peter Graves

LOS ANGELES -- Actor Peter Graves died Sunday at the age of 83. He will always be known for his starring role in Mission Impossible. But he will also be known as a guy who spoofed his image in Airplane.

More like…

1) Fuck. He trumped us with his own name. Ultimate deadline!!!

Corey Haim

LOS ANGELES -- Actor Corey Haim, best known for 80s films including License to Drive and the Lost Boys, has died at the age of 38. According to police, Haim, who had past substance-abuse problems, died at 3:30 a.m. Wednesday of an accidental overdose.

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1) Corpsey Haim
2) The Lost his life Boy
3) License To Die
4) Corey "Why Couldn't It Have Been The Other One?" Haim

Mark Linkous

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Mark Linkous has committed suicide. Best known for his acclaimed work with Sparklehorse, Linkous also produced Daniel Johnston’s 2003 album Fear Yourself and collaborated with Danger Mouse on Dark Night of the Soul.

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1) ...Sparklehearse

Phil Harris

ALASKA -- Phil Harris, captain of the Cornelia Marie fishing boat featured on Deadliest Catch, has died in Alaska. He was 53.

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1) Deadliest Catch!
2) Phil...a coffin
3) Phil HarrIS dead
4) Phil Harris sleeps with the fishes

J.D. Salinger

NEW HAMPSHIRE -- Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger has died at age 91 in New Hampshire. The author's son, in a statement from the author's literary representative, says Salinger died of natural causes at his home.

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1) Stretcher In The Rye
2) Holden Buried-in-a-field
3) Coffin In The Rye
4) J.D. Salin-the-ground

Teddy Pendergrass

PHILADELPIHA -- R&B singer Teddy Pendergrass has died at age 59, CNN has confirmed.

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1) Teddy undergrass
2) Deady Pendergrass